What do you do when something you held on to is destroyed. Something that to you meant a hope of doing something, sharing something. But the hope was a lie, the person is not the one you thought and maybe there are too many differences. This is not something I can let go. I had hoped so much but that it's something that will make you happy just isn't enough for someone to do it for you even though it doesn't hurt them and they might enjoy.
I don't have friends to do it with, I thought I could have a normal relationship, just in this one aspect but now I'm destined to rot away here living the same thing over and over. No hope of something different, a break from it all. All the things I wanted to do are never going to happenI have only two choices I can see and both of them are going to destroy me. I can risk always being alone and find someone who wants to do what I do, or someone who is as prepared to do things to make me happy as I would be for them or I can save myself a life of knowing how it could have been and just give up instead. I don't really care which at this point.