These posts will all be written on a phone, hence the crappy spelling and tendency for it to type duck when I swear :)

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Here again

Been a while since got this bad, thought it wasba blip for day or two but its still here. So unbelievable low. Mostly lacking in any energy or life except for enough to feel bouts of intense anger.

I have wasted everything, I take for granted my boyfriend and I do tell him how much I appreciate him etc and check how he is and that he ok with things. But we do nothing together, literally nothing. Not through a lack of me asking, I just do.t seem worth doing anything with. Though he can go ice skating with work I cannot go out with him one day/night. I would love to have do.e that.

Doing things like that brings you closer to people, you like more those you have fun with. Well if he doesnt spend time enough to have fun with me (always busy, ill, not feeling like it) then it won't be hard to like someone there more than me.

I never cry but its taking everything to keep the tears in my eyes and not streaming down my face. I feel like such a waste of a life, what is the point taking up air and space. It took me by suprise so the energy to get anything started and the ability to see the point in anything is non-existant.

I do want to die, I know i can't because of my mum and she is still (natually) struggling bad with losing my dad. But right now is worse than death, I want it to end, not temporarily, not chemically just so totally that all of this is goes and there is no risk of it returning. I bring nothing to anyone or anything and I'm only damaging to those closest, mostly myself.


  1. My mom was always the person I turned to when I needed something. It was her advice I counted on, and her that I talked to about my most needful things. She died 18 months ago, and at first I was so lost without her I did not think I could function. But then I found DR CHECK. He has filled that empty hole in my heart from the loss of my mother. I can turn to him for guidance and spiritual advice. He is always available and he always cares. It’s not about money for him. Even better, I finally asked him to perform a love spell on me, and it worked!! I met a man who had also experienced a great loss and we were able to become close friends and provide support to each other. We have fallen in love and my life could not be better. Thank you, DR, CHECK, for helping me through the worst times of my life, for being such a great spell caster, and for giving me a love spell that has brought me so much joy. If you doubt his ability, trust me. You should take a chance. It pays off in ways you could never even imagine.Email him OR website

  2. my name is samson sebastinefrom united kingdom i had a problem with my wife sometimes ago but never knew what the problem was,i tried to asked her but she refused to tell,me what it was as time goes on i discovered she was having an affair with a friend of mine that happens to be my best friend,i was so sad that i never knew what to do next,during my search for a way out i met a friend of mine who had similar problem and introduced me to a man who helped him with his situation,on getting to the man i discovered he was a spell caster i was shocked because i have not had anything to do with a spell caster in my entire life so i tried to give this man a chance cos i never believed in spell casting as i thought it will not work for me but to my surprise i got positive results and i was able to get my wife back from him even after the spell caster did all i discovered my wife fell much more in love with me on like before so i was so happy that i never know what to do for him so i am using this opportunity to tell anyone on this blog having similar problem visit ..i am sure he will help you.